Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom -- Wedding Toasts Roasts Speeche

Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom Before I start I have to ask... Do you like my outfit?... you see, I asked the tailor for Versace... but he thought I said "Liberace"! Ladies, Gentlemen, Friends, Relatives and any stray pedestrians who may have wandered in. On behalf of my wife and I... or as I prefer to call her "my most recent ex-girlfriend", welcome to our wedding. I hope you're all enjoying yourselves on this special day. Its great to see you all and I can honestly say it would have been rubbish without you. It would also have been a lot cheaper without you, but that's beside the point. We'd like to thank my new Father-in-law for his kind words and good wishes. And to thank both my new in-laws for all the help (both organisational and financial) they have given us in arranging this reception. I'd like to thank them personally also for all the kindness and generosity they have shown me over the last 8 years, especially after we got off on the wrong foot 8 years ago with the awful blocked toilet incident. I won't go into the details here, but suffice to say their toilet was not blocked before I went in there, but it was very blocked when I left... and overflowing. Nothing much was said at the time, but I did notice on my next visit that the bathroom carpet had been replaced with easy wipe laminate floor! So for that discretion and everything else: thank you. We'd also like to thank my mum for ... ...or those who don't know, Nuala is the one with the plaster cast on her arm, sustained in an arm-wrestling contest to decide who would be the chief bridesmaid. And Shiv who is the chief bridesmaid! We'd like to thank both of you for all the support given to the bride today as well as the other kind of support offered on the way home from the hen do. But most of all we want to thank you for blending in so well with the table cloths. So if you would all stand and raise your glasses and join me in toasting the bridesmaids... "The bridesmaids!" OK I could go on all night, trotting out the usual tired old jokes and fictitious anecdotes, but instead I'm going to leave that to the best man. Thank you.